I am a Puerto Rican artist working out of Lausanne, Switzerland.
I started doing visual arts since I was a little kid…
I saw strange alien faces in my dreams dressed as the virgin Mary
crayon, pencil, pen, tempera..blood.
Large lizards have taken over the island
we should eat them, they are beautiful tasty pests.
from undiagnosed ADD,
ask me to count to 3?
Bipolar Disorder (Diagnosed in my late thirties )
As a youngling, 13 or so,
I became a prolific musician
singer songwriter. I was a self taught
guitar player and obsessive poet.
spanglish, english, spanish, jibberish, bleeding sores
I shook Benedetti’s hand. I saw Aute walking naked in his kitchen.
I had my successes; played in crowded venues (wow)
had famous people
I admired acknowledge
and admire my talent
I did not believe them. Who believes in himself.
and had performances which I never exploited
or truly believed in.
I have those words and songs hidden in a deep file somewhere, (moths, dogs, cats, bird seeds and manure)
Full of insecurity, full of fantasy and disbelief.
Then when I turned 40 came painting;
consequence of my first successful love story.
Consequence of my first betrayal, an act of sabotage,
an act of flagellation,
and an act of unintended cruelty.
I destroyed the best things
that ever happened to me,
my marriage to a beautiful
and difficult woman
who was proud to be my wife, and I, well…
burnt it all to the ground.
And then painting (panting). And painting.
And then more painting.
And now two things keep me alive.
And my non-judgmental rescue dog. I miss my first dog.
forgive me second mutt.
And my medication,
and my moments of sobriety, and my manic episodes…
all fuelled by alcohol,
or melancholy. Still – I believe there is a cohesive thread throughout my work.
I hope you can see it too.
Judge me as you wish. but judge me.
Please tell me I’m very good at what I do,
and also tell me I’m worthless.
I like to say I tell everything
and nothing at the same time.
My life has always been judged by family, geniuses, and people who mean as little as I do.
Where is my non-judgmental rescue dog? I want to give him a belly rub,
he deserves a treat.